Unconditional Love

Some of the best advice I've gotten came from my mother, and it is this: There is no such thing as unconditional love outside of a mother's love for her child. I add to this one's relationship with God or a higher power, if they so believe. But I stand firm on the previous statement. Now some of you may argue or disagree- you love your mate so much, nothing will ever change that, and so forth. And I seldom say this, but I firmly once again say, You Are Wrong. Would you still love your husband, family, etc. if they raped or killed someone? What if, God forbid, they hurt your child? I know, your significant other or family member wouldn't do that, but everyone thinks that (or at least, almost everyone does). I know that I could never love someone again who intentionally hurt Aili (maybe forgive- but not love), but if Aili did that, I would still love her. I would hate what she had done but the love would still be there, always. Now this is not to say that I don't deeply love my husband, extended family, etc. I do and with all my heart. But the experience of age has led me to realize that my mom is right. I do not look at this as a negative thing, although at first glance it may appear to be a negative statement. I look at it as an insightful tool to help better our relationships and keep us from taking the ones we love for granted. I say this with the experience of having wrecked my first relationship due to the belief that we'd always love each other no matter what. I was bound and determined not to make that mistake again, so when things get difficult with my husband, I try to take a deep breath and look at the situation from both sides and apologize even when I don't think I'm really wrong. I try not to take him for granted and assume he'll always be there no matter what. That being said, I'm a work-in-progress, and I am still learning how to be in a relationship- I figure that is a lifelong learning experience!
The other night Aili and I were snuggled up together (we were co-bunking because we were at my dad's). She was happy as a clam to be with mama for the night, and I love watching her sleep- it is the one time she looks so peaceful! I must say, the unconditional love you have for your child is pretty amazing- I love her so much, even though she makes my day-to-day life about a million times harder, she throws tantrums, etc. I then realized something that to me, is pretty unbelievable- right now, for this small part of her life, she unconditionally loves me. She loves me and wants to spend time with me and only me, even when I'm boring because I am exhausted, even when I lose my patience and temper, even when I drop her off to be watched by someone else when I need to get something done. On the occasions that I have spanked her for a particularily naughty offense, she still runs crying to me to be comforted and for a hug, wanting the reassurance that yes, I still love her. For right now, she will continue to love me despite my flaws. It is pretty amazing. I know I have to cherish this time now, where I can help mold her into a good person, while she still thinks the world of me. Before long the love she has for me will change to regular love- love with conditions. She'll love me if I don't mess up too terribly. Hopefully, I will do my job right and she will continue to love me her whole life. For now, I am just grateful to be the one she runs to when she cries, the one she runs to when she is happy, and to be the reason her face lights up when I walk into the room.

Victory!

Aili is not a good vegetable eater. As a baby she would would eat her homemade purees happily- she was even known to eat things like sweet potatoes and broccoli mixed into oatmeal. Fast forward about 2-ish years later, and I cannot get the girl to eat veggies. She'll still eat them pureed, or mixed into things, but that's it. And I sort of have conflicting views about "hiding" veggies, a la sneaky chef- I mean, you get the veggies in, sure, but isn't the whole point to get them to want and then choose healthy foods by themselves so they learn lifelong healthy eating habits? I dunno. Anyway, I made roasted veggies the other night- broccoli with chopped garlic cloves, sea salt and cracked pepper, and a drizzle of olive oil, in the oven on foil for 25 minutes, and enjoyed them myself, but I didn't have high hopes for Aili, so I only gave her one piece. I did the usual "yumm, look at mama eat the broccoli, it's so good!" but expected, at best, for her to pop it in her mouth and spit it right back out and say "Yucky!" as she usually does. Welll....She loved it! She went on and on about the yummy broccoli and wanted more! She went after my plate as well, and didn't even touch her beef chimichanga. The next day I decided to try again and test my luck, and was very happy to see her gobble down her veggies again! Yea! I guess persistence- and trying many different cooking methods- does pay off. I'd tried to woo her before with cheese sauces an such, but without too much luck (she'd usually just lick the cheese off and leave the veggie). Oh well, this is healthier anyway :-)
Well, everything else is going ok here- night shift is making me super tired, but I'm kind of stuck at the moment- no day shift openings, so I'm just gonna have to suffer through it. Hopefully I will get some of my energy back soon. Aili's been naughty lately too- we're definitely in the throes of the terrible twos, my easy little baby has transformed into a temper-tantrum throwing emotional rollercoaster who wants what she wants when she wants it! Ugh. I hear from some people that three is worse, but hopefully not for Aili ;-)