Things I Want to Teach My Daughters

"I'm no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I'm changing the things I cannot accept." -Angela Davis

So, perhaps you've heard, it's International Women's Day.
Am I a feminist? 
Heck yeah, I am a feminist. I'm a believer in equality, and standing up for all marginalized groups. A quote from Rush Limbaugh: "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society."

...What? And a lot of people (including women...) listen to this man.

Midwives celebrate women every day in the work they do, and soon, I will be one of them. I only hope I can serve this calling to the best of my abilities.
 I think about these three beautiful girls whose care and upbringing I have been entrusted with. The further into my schooling I get, the more I realize that this was meant to be. I am supposed to be the mother of daughters. I am supposed to teach them to be strong, independent, caring, and ambitious. How the heck do I do that?? Sometimes I don't even feel strong myself. 

In celebration of today, I am making a list...

Growing Girls: Things I Want to Teach My Daughters

1. Don't get sucked into the psuedo-feminist "you can have it all" mindset. You cannot have it all; no one can. Figure out what you are most passionate about, and let your heart and head lead you accordingly. 

2.  Your body is your own. It is not mine, and it is not a future spouse's or partner's. You and you alone make the decisions for how you take care of it, what you do with it, and who you share it with. I promise, as your mother, and as a women's health care provider, that I will give you the very best education possible, even when you do not want to hear it. I promise to help you when and if you need it. 

3. Happiness is not always a choice. If you are having trouble handling your life, if you are depressed, anxious,  or in need of help, I will be there. I get where they are going with the whole "happiness is a choice" thing, but it minimizes the substantial mental health issues that some people have. Please reach out to me if you need help...it's here and it can get better. 

4. However... keep this in mind: My uncle, one of the smartest men I know, said "The key to happiness is low expectations." Hear me out, he has a point. There can be joy in the ordinary, joy in the everyday. There are people in this world who are happy with far less than you or I. Don't expect piles of money, a fancy car, or a perfect house to make you happy. 

5. Take care of your body not to look good, but to stay healthy. This is kind of a "duh" one, but true. External beauty fades, but health and happiness are radiant. 

6. Trust your gut, but always be willing and ready to amend a first impression. Keep an open mind not just with people, but ideas.

7. Travel. See the way other cultures work, broaden your mind to a different way of life. 

8. Figure out a way to support yourself. You are the only one that can save you. It's fine if you're passionate about art, or cheese-making, or whatever. But please have a plan. And have some training for a career where it is easy-ish to find a job. Even if you decide to be a stay-at-home mom...husbands/wives can become disabled, or die. The unthinkable does happen. Be prepared.

9. Be kind. Kindness and compassion are what defines us as human. 

10. Sit with the uncool kid at lunch sometimes. If you are well-liked and popular, use it for good. Never talk about a "really cool event" you're going to if others around you weren't invited. 

11. It is ok to cry, it is ok to have emotions. Try to think of it as being emotionally intelligent. Sometimes people cry because they have been strong for too long...Strong people know they can't always get through everything on their own. Allow those who love you to help you. 

12. Be confident. It truly is contagious. And this IS a decision. I used to be shy and meek, and then I stopped. Did not really see the point of that. And I am so much happier this way. 

13. Do not be afraid of difficult conversations. A good example I have for this is mental health and suicide. Asking someone if they have thought about suicide does NOT increase their chance of committing suicide! Please people. Along with this, be wary of anecdotal evidence. Sorry, this is the scientist in me coming out. If something is your opinion, and not fact, or backed up by research...call it your opinion. Ok off my evidence soap box now :-) Another example I have is when you are in a relationship, but you are afraid of opening up. There is no good relationship without trust. And if you are rejected...at least you will know, you did everything you could. 

14. Have a bucket list. I mean why not. Life really is short, plan accordingly. And don't wait to do the things you really want to do. 

15. Don't wait to say I love you, if you do. That may be the last thing they hear. Life is weird, life is fickle, life can be so very short. How often will you truly regret saying I love you? I have had a few I love yous in my life that have changed my whole life. Those words are powerful. 

16. Go skinny-dipping at least once. But I mean, be smart about it. I know a few private places! :-D (I am kind of expecting a bail-me-out-of-jail call should you get caught now...)

17. Think of everything as an experience...life is full of them. What can you take from it?

18. Never forget that inequality still exists. Please don't marginalize groups of people by saying things like, "All lives matter," or, "The best way to address racism is to stop talking about it" (sorry Morgan... :-))
When did not talking about it ever make something better?
And of course all lives matter...but the point is, there are people that are oppressed. There are people being treated unjustly. They need the help, support, and most of all recognition that these are issues that still affect people today.

19. Smile. Make small talk. It isn't beneath you. Your minute of time talking to the older gentleman at starbucks may make his day. Also, it is a great way to network. 

20. Please remember...everyone has something to teach. Don't look down on those "below" you. And everyone has something to learn.

I love you, darling daughters. Now go make this world better...I believe in you. 

I think she is pretty great :-)

"do what you can, where you can, with what you have."

This week, I've woken up to wet pillowcases a few times. 

When I struggle, I try to remember a few things.


The world is bigger than my problems.


It will eventually end.


And, most importantly,


I have work to do. 


In the deepest hours of the night, when life is painful, raw, and difficult, when things seem too much to bear, I try to remember this, because for me, it is so very important. 


What is the purpose of life, exactly? To be happy? I know that is what I wish for my children... a life where they are content, happy, and experience sheer joy in the ordinary.


Perhaps the purpose is to prepare for whatever lies next? This is what many religions seem to tell us, when you boil them all down to a common denominator.


To serve others? To minimize the importance of personal desires to benefit a greater good? 


I'm really not sure. But it is past midnight, and as usual I cannot sleep. And I am experiencing a strong desire to not be studying, writing papers, or otherwise involved with learning at this moment. At least, not the kind that involves textbooks. 


On another note, I saw this today. Loved. I know there are some that will just think, "angry feminist." But, if you've worked in women's health care long enough, or inner-city, or anything similar, you know. 





Night, all. 

"Faith is the bird that feels the light, even when the dawn is still dark." 

...just because it's been awhile

The quarter's over, and I for one could not be more delighted. I'm a glass of wine and 3 shots in, and just celebrating. It occurred to me that I haven't blogged in quite some time...might be time for an update ;-)

In September, someone started the first grade, and someone else started preschool...

So far, things are going ok in the school department this year. Both girls are doing fine academically. Aili sometimes talks too much ("constantly," according to a comment one day per her teacher...) but, is loved by all, including the teacher. She's friends with everyone, nice to everyone, and is doing well. So proud of her. Now Andie Lu...well, lets just say it's been an adjustment. She's not a morning gal, and apparently spends the first 15-20 minutes of class pouting in the corner with her arms crossed. She warms up after that, though. We have some work to do before kinder...

 Baby, is no longer a baby. She is 100% toddler...I hate it when that happens. She is into.everything.constantly. We can't keep up. While we are cleaning up one thing, she is breaking another. Thank goodness she is cute and sweet. 

 This year's holiday card, possibly showing up after x-mas this year. Sorry. I never claimed to be domestically perfect. 

 By the grace of God, I managed to do ok in school this quarter, despite far less studying and an increased FTE at work- 97% in stats (should be 98-99% by the time the last grades are in), and 96% in theory. I.hate.theory. So glad to be done with that. Makes stats seem like a dream in comparison. Most of the time, I felt like I was just fumbling through theory. My brain just doesn't work that way. So, I am just very thankful. 

Christmas this year will be spent in a few places. I'm working the eve, and then will be spending the morning with the girls and Jeff, before flying out in the evening for California. I'll spend a few days there, and then back I come to ring in the new year at work. 

This year has been...interesting. Too much wine to blog about it in any detail (that makes sense, anyway), but at least there are some updates in the meantime. 

this february

I've been steering away from posting lately, in an effort to not be too negative.

It's a fine balance. Personally, I loathe the always-pooing-rainbows-and-unicorns blogs. On the other hand, the constant negativity I see on Facebook sometimes gets annoying, too. I realize I sound a little superior here, because this negativity doesn't bother me when I deem it understandable. And how judgmental is that?! I might think someone else's problems are no big deal, but really, the complaining over minor things might really be about hiding something bigger. We often never truly know what someone else's battles are. 

That being said, I like to find a balance between the good and the bad, and in my own life I'm struggling with that lately. My mother has requested an update though, so I will write about my girls. 

Aili is now halfway through her kindergarten year, I can't believe how fast it went by! She is loving her new independence, loving riding the bus and making new friends. She told me today, "my BFF's are Ari, Kate, Kandaz (yes really that's the spelling), and Hannah." She is quite the social butterfly. I find notes from other kids on her bus, inviting her to play dates and such. I'm glad she is enjoying learning and the social aspects of school. With this has also come some sassiness though. I think it's kind of a "I have all this new control over my life and a life outside of you now mom, so I'm gonna make the decisions at home, too" (Except, um, NOT). That part has been challenging. I'm working hard to compromise with her though, like, she can get up by herself in the morning, but she is only allowed to serve herself whatever I've put out for her, not raid the pantry or eat on the couch. And she can watch tv alone, but no winx or bratz. Getting into my ipad is also a favorite pastime- this girl even figured out my pass code! She must've been looking over my shoulder when I wasn't aware because I was careful! I've discoverd that Aili enjoys taking selfies...

As well as documenting the trouble they get into when I'm out of the room...

(Not.smart. Leave no evidence!)

On another note, after deliberating over what to get Aili for Christmas, we finally decided on a tablet, so that she would A, stop stealing ours (seriously, she would sneak over my head in the morning and steal it off my nightstand all stealthily while I slept!) and B, maybe learn something if we added lots of educational apps. This seems to be a way of learning she enjoys, so we thought we would go with it. Well, one day with a phonics app and she was sounding out words and doing better than she had all year, so I was sold. Since preschool I have worried about making sure my girls get a good education, and kindergarten especially had me nervous since it is part-time here. I just didn't see how they were going to get a comparable education to those kids going full-time. I felt as though I needed to supplement their learning somehow, but wasn't really sure how, and didn't have any sort of formal plan. So, for the first half of the year I've just been reading with her, doing her homework with her, and doing extra workbooks now and then. Lately though I have happened upon some homeschooling/online schooling info and have gotten interested. It was never anything I wanted to do at.all. Now though I'm looking into it. We are still going to utilize public schooling for our girls, but I want to supplement it with a home program, especially during the summers. Washington actually has some of the strictest homeschooling requirements in the nation and I think that's good. To homeschool  you have to be approved by the superintendent, have taken at least 45 college credits, submit your plans, have your kids meet with an outside teacher once a week, and have your kids take outside tests/learning assessments regularly. None of that really matters since I just want to use it as a supplement, but it's interesting. Right now I am researching curriculum and lesson plans and drafting up a curriculum. I am planning 8 areas of study: reading, writing, arithmetic, technology, social studies /geography, art /music/sports, science, and life skills. For example, my goals for reading are sight words, phonics, comprehension, story structure. For math it's addition/subtraction, greater than/less than, and money. For science it's learning what an experiment is/means, and life skills includes things like directions, paying for something at a cash register and making change appropriately, basic cooking, and personal information, Etc, etc. for each of these things I plan to research and make lesson plans, and plan field trips accordingly. We will see how this goes. I've ordered books, apps, and tool kits to get started. 

Andie is doing pretty good. She is my little cuddle bug. She likes to sleep in with me in the morning, unlike my early bird, Aili. I quite enjoy it. The other day we took them out to a nice, (quiet) Thai restraint, and explained beforehand that it was a "princess" date, and they needed to behave and be quiet, and they did so good. I was so proud. We got compliments on their behavior. Shocking. They sat quietly, nicely, and happily and ate all their chicken satay and jasmine rice. They loved it. 

Avery is now 8 months, and as cute as can be. She is the.sweetest.baby.ever. She is so easygoing, and happy. I sure do love her.

I was in California last week, and got in touch with my creative side- I just brought baby, so I had time to paint oil paintings, take walks, get brunch in the park, and mom even introduced me to a friend's calf I got to bottle feed. It was a good trip. I needed my mama, for sure. Hopefully I'll be back soon. I got to see her house remodel too which was fun. 

I think I'll leave it at that, for now. I've been kind of off the radar lately, hopefully I'll decide to rejoin life again soon. If not, you bloggy readers will be subjected to more tales of my girls!

gobble gobble

We spent this fine turkey day at my dad's house this year. It's just about the only holiday I'm NOT working this year, so that in and of itself made it a good day (of course I worked the two days before and at least the next 3 days after...can't recall my schedule beyond that, it's all becoming a blur...but yeah, I "had the holiday off." Whatever.)

One exciting thing was that my brand-new niece was there! Meet Mina Lee. She's adorable. So glad that her and Avery are so close in age! (Mina is six weeks, so they are four-something months apart). 
 

As always, Aili and Andie love this tea set.
 

My sweets. Andie and I get along the best when she is asleep ;-)

 Unfortunately, I do not have any pictures of the fabulous food (if you care.)
In anticipation of said fabulous food, I did not eat all day, and waited patiently for dinner at 6pm. So there were no pictures being taken, only turkey, stuffing, and gravy being shoveled in like a pig at the trough. I even wore stretchy pants and a dress, once again, in anticipation of the festivities. Only amateurs wear jeans or tight pants to a holiday meal.

Next, came some beautiful family portraits.

Our attractiveness knows no bounds...

 Us Sluys women sure are hot. If it wasn't for the fact that about half my family is missing in these pictures, I swear this is the holiday card that would have shown up in your mailbox this year...

 

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Joyous Kwanzaa, peeps

At our holiday dinner, for me, there was a lot of THIS:

...Which explains why I was so entertained by THIS....
 

 (I would be an AWESOME children's book author, just saying).

And then, I was sort of sad that there were no pictures of Jeff and I that night. So, I took one:

 

  (No, the husband is not stoned. I think. I wasn't with him all night, so I suppose it's possible. It was past his bedtime, though.)

 

He woke up, a little. Poor guy had no idea what he was getting into when he married me. 

Annnnddd in a totally random, not-at-all-related photo(s) from today, here is what it looks like to have 3 kids and 2 working parents:

 

 That is called, doing laundry for 5. Yeeeaahhh those little girl socks stretched from one end of the room to the other (not all pictured here). Having 3 girls may just be the death of us. Looking at this picture kinda makes me wanna go shove an IUD up myself right this very second with no delay makes me realize just how cute my little family is, even though it can be more work than you could possibly imagine.

 

thankful

It's that time of year again, November, when facebook feeds are littered with 2 things, guys sporting mustaches for cancer awareness, and others posting daily "what I'm thankful for" posts.
It's a nice tradition I suppose, to be thankful and express that.
Life just seem so damn hard lately. And it's not for the usual reasons, not just because of working, or because I have 3 kids under the age of six, or because Aili has started regular school with homework and benchmarks to meet. It's not just because Andie is a challenging (to me) three-year-old, one who makes even the task of getting out the door to do something fun like a party or play date an absolute chore. It's not because I have a little baby that is still nursing, and am pumping milk for her too, and in the back of my mind I am thinking 'oh yeah, I think she has milestones she should be meeting, too, and i need to maybe help her with that...?
It's not because I have baby weight to lose, and I want to go work out more, and I miss that, but I feel guilty sometimes spending more time away, spending an hour or two at the gym while Jeff wrangles the three little ones. 
I guess it is complicated.
That's a stupid answer, but that's all I've got, for now. 
But this isn't a post about that.
 It's the cold time of year again. This past week as I'm driving home from work it's been in the high 20s, which is just too darn cold for me, thankyouverymuch.

Some pictures from around our yard. Because if I am going to freeze, I would at least like to be freezing with the sun out, that is much more enjoyable. Also, I like to take pictures of the ice crystals. 
I am thankful for the hobby of photography. 
I dedicated a whole blog entry about that here, how photography helps me to understand both myself, and life, better. How, along with good music, it is my "therapy." 

I am thankful for this girl...

I just love little babies so much. Whatever will I do, when there are no more babies for me? I mean, besides the ones at work. I'm not counting them. Obviously.

But this girl, she is the icing on the cake. She is the epitome of sweet. Her smile can light up a room and her giggle is my light. 

Someone else really loves her, too. 

 I love how good of a big sister she is. I am so glad that I didn't have my kids completely bam-bam-bam, because watching her love on baby Avie with an almost maternal sense is just so heartwarming. I look at her and can see the great mother she'll someday (maybe, if motherhood is what she wants) become. She likes to bring the baby upstairs in the morning, change her diaper, and play with her. 

I am thankful that although Andie is a terror, she is also so affectionate. She is going through a very "kissy" phase. She is always kissing us, hugging us, asking to go "uppa" (be picked up), and telling us that she loves us. 

 You'll have to ignore the lack of make up and dirty ponytail. Aili has taken to borrowing my camera/iphone (among other things...) and taking pictures. Maybe she is taking after her mama?

I am grateful that my girls are so different. Aili is more like me: looks like me (only prettier, lucky girl!), acts like me. She is so empathetic, and I love that. It does remind me of myself though, and then the mama in me gets worried. Because she is my child, and I never want her to hurt as bad as I have, and I want to save her from heartbreak and unfairness and the general lack of karma there seems to be at times in this world. I know I can't though. I can only love her, and pray.
And then there is Andie. I love that she is opposite of Aili, and in fact, is different from all of us (and no, not just in looks, although it does seem that perhaps the mailman impregnated me). She is spicy and lively. She may be so difficult to parent, especially at three, but I don't think I will ever need to worry about her standing up for herself, or getting taken advantage of, or having her heart ripped out by someone who never deserved it in the first place. Andie Lucie will be  survivor, I am pretty sure.
Not sure yet about Avery...I can't yet picture her as a teen or a grown-up.

I am thankful for my husband (He is not home to take a picture of). I am thankful that he loves his girls, that he wants to be a god dad for them, and is so very involved. I am so thankful that he is also in the medical field as well, that he understands when I come home in fear that I may have not done the best, that maybe something different could have been done, that I might have hurt someone's child. There is no possible way to understand that fear, unless you are also in a related field. Not just the bad, also the joy and elation. The responsibility of knowing that you have the power to save, or end, someone's life, if you make a mistake. I know plenty of people do it, but I just can't picture being married to an accountant or programmer or something (no offense, anyone...also very necessary jobs, just very different).

My mind is typically very busy...what I want may change throughout the course of a day, a week, a year.

I want to move to Australia, and deliver babies at home

I want to travel back to Africa, and take my children and show them real life, where priorities are getting water, not ipads or trendy clothes. And I want to help.

I want to open a birth center on the central coast (of California)

I want to go back to school, and be surrounded by brilliant people, throwing ideas around about life, theology, and philosophy, and about health care reform.

I want to stay at home more, spend more time coloring with crayons and enjoying the simple life.

What I want may change as often as Andie changes her clothes (well, maybe not THAT often!).

And, I am so very thankful that I may possibly have the chance to figure that all out. 

Andie sure is goofy

Taken from our front deck

 

this minute...

Because a lot is going on. So here is what is on my mind~

Work. Started this last week back at work and yeah it was stressful. Avery did pretty well with the whole mama-being-gone and first bottle thing, but it is an adjustment for both of us. I haven't been away from her for more than a few hours before, so the last week and a half has been...interesting. I actually said, before my first day back at work, "I hope I get something really easy like a car seat monitoring or something," and alas, I did! Buuuttt then it was back to the usual Prov, with emergent sections, stressful situations, etc. Without going into too much detail i'll just say there were a couple of births that may have given me some gray hair. I know babies still come out the same way and blah blah blah but it's still a little nerve-wracking to go back to a high stress job when the tasks that required the most use of your brainpower in the previous months were how to change a crappy diaper while dealing with a toddler temper tantrum at the same time. So, there is that. Work and the stuff associated with it (like catching up on my continuing ed for my nursing license and RNC...ugh) is on my mind quite a bit.

 Computer. I currently hate it. This post is taking way longer than it needs to, because this thing is a POS. ugh

Hair. Jeff is now learning to do it! Having mastered the pony long ago, he has now moved on to the basic french braid. And is, of course, ridiculously proud of himself. I basically told him there was no way I was doing 4 heads of hair, including my own, every day, and set him up in front of YouTube and offered tips. YouTube is da bomb. If I ever need to reassemble a jet engine, i'm gonna YouTube it. I learn everything there.

Lawn Mowing. Speaking of YouTube, it came in handy when I decided to learn to mow the lawn. And was promptly told never to do it again, or touch any other of husbands tools. WTH I did a fab job. I am getting more and more redneck though. What you can't garden in uggs and a nightgown?? Damn shame. 

 
Naked Spa. One of my friends thinks my woes can be cured with lots of running and trips to the naked spa. Not sure about that, but I do enjoy the naked spa (thats not actually it's name, just what I refer to it as since there are no clothes or swim suits whatsoever allowed in the pool and scrub areas). I went the first time when I was about 14 or 15 weeks pregnant with baby, and hung out in the pools but didn't get a scrub because first off I was pregnant and trying to hide it and secondly I wasn't sure how I would feel about being naked in front of a bunch of strangers. But as I sat in the pools watching other people go get their scrubs and coming back looking all fresh and glow-y, i kinda wanted to go too. So I did this time. It's a little strange, sure, as you are sitting all nakey on a table with a whole line of tables with a couple feet between them with naked woman on them, and they are moving you, lifting your legs up, and scrubbing the heck out of every part of you. And then they poured warm milk and honey on me...I was as smooth as a baby's bottom :-) But it was fun, and I felt very refreshed afterwards, and all the other rooms (salt room, tea room, meditation room, etc) were all very relaxing and nice as well. 

Bacon Chocolate. Ummm yeah it's amazing, my hubby brought me some and I love. I've always liked weird flavor combos and this is definitely a trend I can get behind. My thighs, not so much. 

And of course we should talk about baby Avie, who is even more delectably delish than maple bacon chocolate bars. She is just my little love muffin. She loves to be held and is happy and content all the time so long as she is getting enough cuddle time. She's an excellent sleeper, great nurser, and gives super cute smiles.

There we are doing some rolling. It's her latest skill, one she started around 3-ish months. Honestly she doesn't spend much time on the ground so it's hard to be sure. When she is awake, usually someone is wanting to love on her :-)

Jeff is now back in school, for now taking a bio class. He is pretty ambitious, his goal is to get 100% in the class. Buuutt unfortunately this can no longer happen, he missed a class due to an ileus that kept him in the hospital all night. Poor bubs. Our girls did great though, they stayed there and watched shows on my ipad and were awake all night with no tantrums. Aili still wanted to go to school the next day too, crazy girl. She wasn't even that tired. No wonder I cant keep up with her...

 Jeff, studying :-)

Jeff made a little creek through our backyard where the rainwater naturally had dug out a little creek to a swampy area. He used a tractor to dig out a little pond for it to collect into, the girls just discovered it back there and love it. One thing I love about our yard is that due to the natural slope, from the upstairs I can see the whole backyard (and the neighbor's yard too) very easily and keep track of them. We are building a fenced-off kid's area to keep them contained a little better when we are inside though, and there has been black bear sightings at the neighbors which is worrisome although usually those bears are skittish and afraid of humans and avoid them.

 That back deck, up high in the left part of the house, serves a few purposes. I can see the kids, store beer and trash, and put kids in time-outs.

Andie + Laser. So we have started laser treatments for Andie's mark above her eye with the amazing Dr. Hornung (awesome derm). Obviously she no likey the laser :-(  Thankfully so far the insurance company has decided that at least the first treatment is covered and medically necessary, hopefully this will continue as she will probably need up to six treatments. She did so well without anesthesia with the first that we'll probably only use it for the last treatment, to ensure that the laser had reached all ares, which is harder to do on a kid's eyelid when they are in pain and scrunching their eyes. So, we will go to Children's OR for that one and have her gassed. But for the others we are going to proceed with doing it at Bellevue Children's procedure room without sedation. I've been down the conscious sedation road with Andie  before, and didn't have a strong desire to do it again unless it would be really traumatizing for her. The doc, Jeff, and I all thought she did really well though, she cried the whole time (feels like you are having rubber bands snapped on your eyelids and she said he thought it felt hot) but recovered really well afterwards. Unfortunately she will look quite bruised for up to 3 weeks after the treatment and they are every other month.  Her eye might swell shut tomorrow morning too, we'll see.

 

Cream is on and on the way to the appointment. She is pretty tired here from hanging out in the ER with daddy until 430am.

She knew something was up.

In the procedure room.

Afterwards, there was ice cream, and a special lunch with mom and dad and all our attention. (Meaning, Aili was at school. Avie was there)

OW. Poor girl...

She wanted a cherry on top. Seemed reasonable.

  Well there are more happenings around here, particularly with Aili and school, but that will have to wait for another day. Because after several back-to-back nights of being up til 330 am or later, starting up at work, Jeff and Andie's stuff, etc, etc, this is one tired mama!