Some of the best advice I've gotten came from my mother, and it is this: There is no such thing as unconditional love outside of a mother's love for her child. I add to this one's relationship with God or a higher power, if they so believe. But I stand firm on the previous statement. Now some of you may argue or disagree- you love your mate so much, nothing will ever change that, and so forth. And I seldom say this, but I firmly once again say, You Are Wrong. Would you still love your husband, family, etc. if they raped or killed someone? What if, God forbid, they hurt your child? I know, your significant other or family member wouldn't do that, but everyone thinks that (or at least, almost everyone does). I know that I could never love someone again who intentionally hurt Aili (maybe forgive- but not love), but if Aili did that, I would still love her. I would hate what she had done but the love would still be there, always. Now this is not to say that I don't deeply love my husband, extended family, etc. I do and with all my heart. But the experience of age has led me to realize that my mom is right. I do not look at this as a negative thing, although at first glance it may appear to be a negative statement. I look at it as an insightful tool to help better our relationships and keep us from taking the ones we love for granted. I say this with the experience of having wrecked my first relationship due to the belief that we'd always love each other no matter what. I was bound and determined not to make that mistake again, so when things get difficult with my husband, I try to take a deep breath and look at the situation from both sides and apologize even when I don't think I'm really wrong. I try not to take him for granted and assume he'll always be there no matter what. That being said, I'm a work-in-progress, and I am still learning how to be in a relationship- I figure that is a lifelong learning experience!
The other night Aili and I were snuggled up together (we were co-bunking because we were at my dad's). She was happy as a clam to be with mama for the night, and I love watching her sleep- it is the one time she looks so peaceful! I must say, the unconditional love you have for your child is pretty amazing- I love her so much, even though she makes my day-to-day life about a million times harder, she throws tantrums, etc. I then realized something that to me, is pretty unbelievable- right now, for this small part of her life, she unconditionally loves me. She loves me and wants to spend time with me and only me, even when I'm boring because I am exhausted, even when I lose my patience and temper, even when I drop her off to be watched by someone else when I need to get something done. On the occasions that I have spanked her for a particularily naughty offense, she still runs crying to me to be comforted and for a hug, wanting the reassurance that yes, I still love her. For right now, she will continue to love me despite my flaws. It is pretty amazing. I know I have to cherish this time now, where I can help mold her into a good person, while she still thinks the world of me. Before long the love she has for me will change to regular love- love with conditions. She'll love me if I don't mess up too terribly. Hopefully, I will do my job right and she will continue to love me her whole life. For now, I am just grateful to be the one she runs to when she cries, the one she runs to when she is happy, and to be the reason her face lights up when I walk into the room.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Victory!
Aili is not a good vegetable eater. As a baby she would would eat her homemade purees happily- she was even known to eat things like sweet potatoes and broccoli mixed into oatmeal. Fast forward about 2-ish years later, and I cannot get the girl to eat veggies. She'll still eat them pureed, or mixed into things, but that's it. And I sort of have conflicting views about "hiding" veggies, a la sneaky chef- I mean, you get the veggies in, sure, but isn't the whole point to get them to want and then choose healthy foods by themselves so they learn lifelong healthy eating habits? I dunno. Anyway, I made roasted veggies the other night- broccoli with chopped garlic cloves, sea salt and cracked pepper, and a drizzle of olive oil, in the oven on foil for 25 minutes, and enjoyed them myself, but I didn't have high hopes for Aili, so I only gave her one piece. I did the usual "yumm, look at mama eat the broccoli, it's so good!" but expected, at best, for her to pop it in her mouth and spit it right back out and say "Yucky!" as she usually does. Welll....She loved it! She went on and on about the yummy broccoli and wanted more! She went after my plate as well, and didn't even touch her beef chimichanga. The next day I decided to try again and test my luck, and was very happy to see her gobble down her veggies again! Yea! I guess persistence- and trying many different cooking methods- does pay off. I'd tried to woo her before with cheese sauces an such, but without too much luck (she'd usually just lick the cheese off and leave the veggie). Oh well, this is healthier anyway :-)
Well, everything else is going ok here- night shift is making me super tired, but I'm kind of stuck at the moment- no day shift openings, so I'm just gonna have to suffer through it. Hopefully I will get some of my energy back soon. Aili's been naughty lately too- we're definitely in the throes of the terrible twos, my easy little baby has transformed into a temper-tantrum throwing emotional rollercoaster who wants what she wants when she wants it! Ugh. I hear from some people that three is worse, but hopefully not for Aili ;-)
Well, everything else is going ok here- night shift is making me super tired, but I'm kind of stuck at the moment- no day shift openings, so I'm just gonna have to suffer through it. Hopefully I will get some of my energy back soon. Aili's been naughty lately too- we're definitely in the throes of the terrible twos, my easy little baby has transformed into a temper-tantrum throwing emotional rollercoaster who wants what she wants when she wants it! Ugh. I hear from some people that three is worse, but hopefully not for Aili ;-)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
25 Things
Here's a post of randomness...because, well, I'm just not that creative at 1:30AM. So I thought I'd post one of these type of things instead. Either that or I'm boring. My only updates? Damn nanny quit (AGAIN- what is with our luck?! It's all these freakin' stay-at-homers who have never held a real job and have no idea what responsibility is!), but that is ok, because we're contemplating enrolling Aili in a preschool-style daycare, which I think would be great for her- she needs more structure. I've been feeling pretty under the weather lately. I can't wait for spring; it can't come soon enough. I've had it with the dreary weather...ok, now on to my post of randomness...I'm pretty sure of my 25 'random' things, most of you know almost all of them already :-) Oh well...
1. I never met a cheese I didn't like, even the smelly ones- yumm. How can someone hate blue cheese?! My current favorite is a dutch cheese called beemster or something- at nearly ten dollars for a small-ish slab, I'll be you can figure out why my grocery bill is so high ;-)
2. Disneyland is waaayy better than disney world. Just sayin'. Though I do love Florida. And they're right, disneyland is definitely the happiest place on earth!
3. I love love LOVE the beach, water parks, and anything water-related. If I could I would so move back to California, but hubby comes first and his job is here. I love sunny weather, tank tops, and swimming, although I still haven't learned to surf or wakeboard (I will eventually...and we just got another boat, a little ski boat, so maybe now I'll take up wake boarding...)
4. I find most newborns annoying. Ssshhh. Don't tell my work. Their cries typically resonate in my head like the sound of a few cats all fighting over a single peice of fish. That being said, I'm pretty good at dealing with newborns.
5. Snakes are not my friend. One reason I think it would be great to have all girls is because a girl is much less likely to hide a snake in my room/bed as a joke. I don't harm snakes or wish them ill, I just don't want them near me. Funny thing, when I was little I would catch them and hang them around my neck and do all sorts of horrifying things. Ugh.
6. I really want to learn Spanish. I'm getting a little better at it, since we have a lot of Spanish-speaking only patients at work, but I've still got a loong ways to go.
7. I'm really getting sick of work. Maybe it is the monotony, or maybe it is the fact that I work full-time, I don't know. But I'm reaching the end of my rope.
8. I hate going out to eat with people who are cheap and tip poorly.
9. I've always found medical stuff interesting. When I was little, going to the hospital was fun times.
10. I really don't want to ever drive a "kid mobile" (AKA minivan) but I'm not opposed to a crossover. Some day I will have my little sports car with leather seats...
11. I hate folding laundry, which is strange, because it is one of the few chores you can do while watching TV
12. I don't understand when people don't even try to breastfeed (unless they have medical issues). However bottle-feeding does make my job much easier
13. I want to make more friends in my area, and make time for those friends, because I am definitely a people-person. Yet I still haven't managed to do that much since moving.
14. I love game nights. I love things like bumper cars and laser tag even more. I'm a kid at heart
15. I accidently caused the color of our last house to be pink. I thought the sample looked cream. I guess the name "blushing bride" should have tipped me off. Oops.
16. My favorite sport to watch is baseball, hands down. To play is soccer, and football is second for watching. Only superbowl on TV though, otherwise it has to be live to keep me interested.
17. I love Alvin and the Chipmonks. The original, cartoon ones. I even own CDs. I can sing the whole theme song.
18. Dilletante (sp?) desserts and hot chocolate are the yummiest
19. I'm a big believer in baby-sitters and date nights. Your kid will be fine as long as you leave him/her with someone responsible. It might not be fine if you have a lousy relationship with your significant other due to not communicating and spending time alone together. This is also why I don't do extended co-sleeping past the newborn stage. Maybe it is just from my personal experience, but I think if you're not showing your child that you value yourself and your partner, and taking time for yourself/them, you're gonna end up with either a spoiled child or one who doesn't know how to be in a healthy relationship. Once again...just my experience from *my* life.
20. Kid's TV shows today have nothing on the ones we used to watch. Now there always has to be a "lesson." Whatev.
21. I love sleep so much, it is a major reason why probably I'll have 2 kids. That and I want the freedom to be able to travel a lot(as opposed to more than 2 kids that is).
22. If I can afford it, I would seriously give some thought to a tummy tuck and a boob lift. We'll see.
23. I would really like to make it out to Spokane more...that is on my priority list for the year. Not because of a deep love of Spokane per se, more about my deep love for my friend Lisa who lives there :-)
24. As a child, I always won the who-can-eat-the-donut-with-no-hands-the-fastest contest. And I can already tell that my daughter, who is just like her mama, will be doing the same thing.
25. Lisa and I did some seriously weird things as children. We were meant to be friends I guess. Our parents really took it in stride, I think I would be humiliated if Aili did some of those things. A random sampling- yelling abour birdseed and other bizzare things while on rides at the fair, trying to convince people we were twins, choreographed dances to Michael Jackson, and road-side "skits." Umm yeah. We'll just say we were "creative." And there are other things that, well, I just won't even go there ;-)
1. I never met a cheese I didn't like, even the smelly ones- yumm. How can someone hate blue cheese?! My current favorite is a dutch cheese called beemster or something- at nearly ten dollars for a small-ish slab, I'll be you can figure out why my grocery bill is so high ;-)
2. Disneyland is waaayy better than disney world. Just sayin'. Though I do love Florida. And they're right, disneyland is definitely the happiest place on earth!
3. I love love LOVE the beach, water parks, and anything water-related. If I could I would so move back to California, but hubby comes first and his job is here. I love sunny weather, tank tops, and swimming, although I still haven't learned to surf or wakeboard (I will eventually...and we just got another boat, a little ski boat, so maybe now I'll take up wake boarding...)
4. I find most newborns annoying. Ssshhh. Don't tell my work. Their cries typically resonate in my head like the sound of a few cats all fighting over a single peice of fish. That being said, I'm pretty good at dealing with newborns.
5. Snakes are not my friend. One reason I think it would be great to have all girls is because a girl is much less likely to hide a snake in my room/bed as a joke. I don't harm snakes or wish them ill, I just don't want them near me. Funny thing, when I was little I would catch them and hang them around my neck and do all sorts of horrifying things. Ugh.
6. I really want to learn Spanish. I'm getting a little better at it, since we have a lot of Spanish-speaking only patients at work, but I've still got a loong ways to go.
7. I'm really getting sick of work. Maybe it is the monotony, or maybe it is the fact that I work full-time, I don't know. But I'm reaching the end of my rope.
8. I hate going out to eat with people who are cheap and tip poorly.
9. I've always found medical stuff interesting. When I was little, going to the hospital was fun times.
10. I really don't want to ever drive a "kid mobile" (AKA minivan) but I'm not opposed to a crossover. Some day I will have my little sports car with leather seats...
11. I hate folding laundry, which is strange, because it is one of the few chores you can do while watching TV
12. I don't understand when people don't even try to breastfeed (unless they have medical issues). However bottle-feeding does make my job much easier
13. I want to make more friends in my area, and make time for those friends, because I am definitely a people-person. Yet I still haven't managed to do that much since moving.
14. I love game nights. I love things like bumper cars and laser tag even more. I'm a kid at heart
15. I accidently caused the color of our last house to be pink. I thought the sample looked cream. I guess the name "blushing bride" should have tipped me off. Oops.
16. My favorite sport to watch is baseball, hands down. To play is soccer, and football is second for watching. Only superbowl on TV though, otherwise it has to be live to keep me interested.
17. I love Alvin and the Chipmonks. The original, cartoon ones. I even own CDs. I can sing the whole theme song.
18. Dilletante (sp?) desserts and hot chocolate are the yummiest
19. I'm a big believer in baby-sitters and date nights. Your kid will be fine as long as you leave him/her with someone responsible. It might not be fine if you have a lousy relationship with your significant other due to not communicating and spending time alone together. This is also why I don't do extended co-sleeping past the newborn stage. Maybe it is just from my personal experience, but I think if you're not showing your child that you value yourself and your partner, and taking time for yourself/them, you're gonna end up with either a spoiled child or one who doesn't know how to be in a healthy relationship. Once again...just my experience from *my* life.
20. Kid's TV shows today have nothing on the ones we used to watch. Now there always has to be a "lesson." Whatev.
21. I love sleep so much, it is a major reason why probably I'll have 2 kids. That and I want the freedom to be able to travel a lot(as opposed to more than 2 kids that is).
22. If I can afford it, I would seriously give some thought to a tummy tuck and a boob lift. We'll see.
23. I would really like to make it out to Spokane more...that is on my priority list for the year. Not because of a deep love of Spokane per se, more about my deep love for my friend Lisa who lives there :-)
24. As a child, I always won the who-can-eat-the-donut-with-no-hands-the-fastest contest. And I can already tell that my daughter, who is just like her mama, will be doing the same thing.
25. Lisa and I did some seriously weird things as children. We were meant to be friends I guess. Our parents really took it in stride, I think I would be humiliated if Aili did some of those things. A random sampling- yelling abour birdseed and other bizzare things while on rides at the fair, trying to convince people we were twins, choreographed dances to Michael Jackson, and road-side "skits." Umm yeah. We'll just say we were "creative." And there are other things that, well, I just won't even go there ;-)
Monday, February 15, 2010
Why I Started Yet Another Blog
Clearly, I suck at blogging. I have had quite a few in the past few years, but I'm hoping this one will be more successful. Why? The only time I seem to want to blog is in the middle of the night, at work, and a lot of our computers block myspace and facebook, where I used to do my blogging. Thus I will join a different sort non-blocking blogging community (I have a few friends who use this one, so that seemed to be the easiest selection). Here are some quick updates of how life is going for our little family since the summer~
Fall- Moved to a townhome in the Mill Creek/Everett area. We like it here pretty well! Takes 30 minutes to get to Seattle, 90 or so to North Bellingham where Jeff's family is, and is a really family-friendly neighborhood. We're planning to hopefully stay here until we buy another house. (Gotta probably sell the old one first...but that is a debate all in itself). Then, right after moving we went and visited my fabulous family (seriously...I have the BEST extended family EVER) in California, and my mom watched The Princess (AKA "Aili," now 2 and a half) for a week so we could have a second "honeymoon" in Mexico. It was fantastic! We loved it so much that we bought a time-share (not normally my thing, but you can use it anywhere in the world) and are still committed to traveling as often as possible. Here are some pics of our trip:
The pictures are from the ancient Mayan ruins of Chichen-Itza, snorkeling in caves/cenotes, zip-lining in a Mayan village, etc. We had a great trip, and I can't wait for our next one- we've already paid off the time share so now we can just enjoy!
Winter- Not much new there, we visited my family in California and had an awesome time, as always. I *love* going to grandma's- we all hang out, have a good time, and eat far, far too much food. As a result I am now several pounds heavier. Oh well, it was worth it for the fanfreakingtastic 3 (eh,...8) squares-a-day. My latest mission for the winter is to visit Lisa in Spokane, take Aili sledding for the first time at the pass, and...well actually, that is enough until Spring.
Aili is doing pretty well. She keeps me busy! I am thinking of enrolling her in a gymboree or little gym class to use up some of that toddler energy and help her make little 'friends.' I also am looking into preschools for her- man is there a lot to choose from. It is especially hard when I'm unsure if she will be fully potty-trained, as most schools either A. Want them Trained, or B, Charge More. Ugh. She'll pee on the potty, but only with constant asking, and rarely poos on it. You'd think a child so food-motivated would go more, but...she's got more important things to do.
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