Away We Go!

We're on our way, and Andie's actually not doing too badly- we're in the bay area now and here's hoping we hit Paso before too late!

...perhaps I will have that 'Attitude Adjustment' tomorrow?

Yeeeaaahhh....embracing an attitude adjustment?

It doesn't appear as though I will be having my change of attitude today. In fact, I had a teeny weeny little emotional, ahem, breakdown. At work. Yippee. All because my boss has informed me that, after checking with the advice of a few people, they won't be able to grant me a leave of absence, if I want to come back to work here I will have to go through the new orientation process over again. As she put it, "Not if but when!" Hmmm. Well, I feel undervalued, because per our protocol it *is* her call, even if the higher-ups (?) disagreed. The policy says that you have to have been employed here for at least 3 months (definitely done), have a good attendance record (done) and have manager approval (I guess...not done). What a bummer. I really wanted to stay on at Swedish, and pick up some shifts in the future. Not to mention I am leaving one month short of my 401(K) being vested at a much higher percentage- SUCKY. I was so convinced I would get approved after reading the policy and per my previous discussion with my manager, because she claims to really want to keep me. I am just so disappointed, I wanted to leave on a good note, and not really "leave" exactly, but take a hiatus. It just stinks because other people have gotten this opportunity there but I will not, maybe because upper management is tightening the reins or something. Sooo I started my shift totally bummed, cried, and had my emotional moment for the second time at work. I've now got to say good-byes tonight and type up my resignation, as my last night is tomorrow (technically, tonight) and I am trying to get the night off. I just feel really drained, and, honestly, a little bit of a bitter taste in my mouth. Too bad they couldn't have told me this instead of waiting for me to approach them again about it, even though the decision had already been made...sigh. Well, it is what it is, and I will make the best of it. Hopefully it is what is meant to be. And I'll still be working on that attitude adjustment, see the picture above. Just ignore the red eyes and puffy face from crying. And the sleep-deprived, night shift, general I-feel-crappy look. I'm really just singin' Pollyanna tunes over here at the Chalet de Swedish tonight :-)

An Attitude Adjustment

Things are not going "perfect" right now, my stress level is waaaayyy up, and I have noticed that it is making me cranky. I blogged about not being so hot about change and yeaaahhh....still not there yet. The house seems like it is always messy, Aili is constantly destroying things, Andie is always wanting to be held, there are always dishes to do, laundry that is piling up, and floors to be swept and vacuumed. My body is always out of sync too, due to night shift, and I really want to work out more, I miss that "me" time, but it is difficult to do that, get sleep, and keep this place in order. On top of that, there have been a lot of changes lately. I am really nervous about starting the new job. Ultimately I am hoping it will make my life easier, being closer to home and all, but in the beginning it is going to make it much harder, because I am going to have to work full-time again, and I am going to have to re-train. Currently I work a 0.75, which means that every other week, I get a week off. I *need* this week off, to catch up on sleep, get the house in order, spend time with my kids. And frankly, I wanted to work a 0.6. Now I will be back to a 0.9 and at the mercy of someone else's scheduling (I picked my own schedule at Swedish), not to mention it will be more stressful, because it is a new job. I don't know how I am going to do it. And on top of that, our lovely Ferndale "tenants" (my sister in law and her husband) are moving out of our home in Ferndale, AND the place needs a new roof, so we have less than a month to figure that all out, and we're going to be in California visiting family for a good portion of that month. Yikes. Of all the things I thought might go wrong with that house, new roof?! Didn't even cross my mind, it is only 16 years old! What the heck...If the housing market was better we'd sell the place, but it's not, and it doesn't seem like the economy is improving anytime soon, so we are stuck. Sooo we have all sorts of worries like, "What if more things start breaking? What if the new tenants lose their jobs and can't pay their rent and we can't unload the house or afford it and it goes into foreclosure and we ruin or credit and our cars die and we need new ones but we can't get approved for a loan or afford it because of the other house?" I know I am being slightly ridiculous, because with me working full-time we can cover both mortgages if we have to, we would just have to cut way back, but if other things start breaking and we need new cars we might be in a bad spot. I know it is probably better and healthier to think of the BEST case scenario, but at the same time you have to be smart, and think of the risks involved, too, unfortunately that is part of being an adult. And I feel like we have it pretty darn good in some ways- we ARE blessed- and what if our luck runs out?
And did I mention Aili is driving me a teeny bit crazy???
I'm just going to have to view these next few months as some of the hardest, and eventually it will be over, we've just got to get through it. I am crossing my fingers that everything turns out ok, and that life will calm down again soon...at least hopefully by the end of the year!

What We've Been Up To!

Enjoying the (rare) glimpses of sun here in the Pacific Northwest, and trying not to bum out too much about the rain! We've done a few camping trips and spent some time on the island (Camano...we live right next to it; the pics above are from there). All in all it hasn't been *too* bad of a summer but I am really looking forward to being in California for a couple of weeks! They know how to do summer right down there! Anyway, some highlights from the past few weeks~

What happens when Aili picks her outfit (in JULY)

 The Fourth of July, at Jeff's co-workers house. Aili liked the pinata.

Lake Pearrygin/Winthrop Camping Trip:

It was quite windy at Diablo Lake

Think she'll kill me when she is a teen for posting this picture?

...And you should've seen the inside of the car. Is this what it requires to go camping for a few days with 2 big kids (Jeff and I) and 3 little ones?!

Not sure which she likes more, the ice cream or the saddle! We love Winthrop ice cream

Blueberry pancakes are yummy

Sleepy girls....poor Ari, Aili's a car seat hog

Having fun splashing around in Pearrygin lake

Mmmm....S'mores.

Ready to hit the beach!

North Cascades Waterfall

Certified! (aaaanddd....a change)

I took the Maternal-Newborn RNC test the other day! Not a huge deal- basically it just means I get to add another letter, a "C" after the "RN" but I am still glad to have gotten it done! I have been meaning to sit for the exam for a year now; it just means you are a RN certified in a certain specialty and you're eligible to sit for the exam after you've worked a couple of years and a certain # of hours in that area. It was different than I thought, a lot of questions about newborn skin stuff (what the heck is a 'blueberry muffin spot'?! I need to google that!) as well as some more complicated newborn management questions like choanal atresia, cyanotic/acyanotic heart defects/etc. Not quite as many 'oh-we-do-that-all-the-time' questionsas I figured there would be; just a few questions about postpartum hemorrhages, breastfeeding, etc. I do get a (small) pay raise, about 1500-2000/year depending on hours worked. I have a lot of stuff to keep up though- more continuing ed due to the new Washington laws, RNC, BLS/ACLS, NRP, EFM, and I want to do the IBCLC (lactation) as well. Whew! 
And in other news, sadly, I am leaving Swedish. I have really mixed feelings about it, I really do like the organization as a whole pretty well, it's a good place to be a nurse, and it's a good hospital, especially for my specialty. I am really lucky because I have never had a situation there that I felt I couldn't handle [with the assistance of my awesome co-workers.] Those girls are great! I have learned so much from so many of them. Buuuttt the commute is quite difficult, and driving into downtown Seattle 2-3 nights a week is a little much for me, mostly because it is rush hour on the way in. I would love love LOVE to come back as a per diem/on-call and pick up a few shifts every now and then after I am settled in at the new place. I am lucky because my boss was not only really supportive and understanding, but wants to look into the possibility of making that happen for me, if we can work out a leave-of-absence. I hope we can work something out! The new job is at Providence Everett (yea for a 20-30min commute!) in OB. They have all nurses do antepartum/labor/delivery/postpartum there so it's a bit of a mixed bag. I really hope I like it there! Swedish has spoiled me a bit :-) The cool thing is, the lady who took me on at Swedish is now the manager at Prov, and hired me for that job! So yea! So that's what has been up around here- a little busy trying to adjust to the upcoming changes :-)

Prayer

I'm saying a few of these this week :-)
I think if I am being honest I will admit I don't always embrace change in the way that I should. Change can be a very good thing, but also can be a little nerve-wracking. That being said, it is a very necessary thing unless you want to become stagnant in your life. I don't want to be that person who doesn't make changes because I am nervous/scared.
August should be a busy and interesting month for us. So far July is going pretty well- we got our lawn in, yippee!! We thought about seeding it ourselves, and then said to HECK WITH THAT, and got it hydroseeded. Muuucchh better; one hour as opposed to all day in terms of hours put in. NEVER AGAIN am I moving into a house which needs the entire yard torn out/replaced! Thank goodness the house is new and nice. I can't believe how much money we have spent just on dirt and animal manure- like, over a grand for sure. Total landscaping, a few grand EASY. Probably more. And it doesn't even look like we've done all that much! Bummer. But it is coming along...slowly. What is funny is that a lot of the people we've had do things on the house, like the inspector and hydroseeder for example, have been firefighters! As we know I'm a softie for firefighters and medics, kinda funny the coincidence there.
The girls are doing well, although Aili's going through a sassy/talking-back phase. And she thinks that Andie is HER baby. She dresses her up, tries to change her diaper, lugs her around the house...yeah, pretty much drives Jeff and I (and Andie!) crazy. Andie's a small baby. At 9 months, her weight is 5% (about 15.5 lbs), head circ 65%, height 55%. Funny for a kiddo who was quite large at birth! She is a delicate-looking girl. Oh well, makes her easier to lug around!
So here's hoping that the rest of the month can ride out without too many more changes- we have some fun stuff planned coming up, a camping trip or two, California, and Hawaii! Yea for vacations :-)