An Attitude Adjustment

Things are not going "perfect" right now, my stress level is waaaayyy up, and I have noticed that it is making me cranky. I blogged about not being so hot about change and yeaaahhh....still not there yet. The house seems like it is always messy, Aili is constantly destroying things, Andie is always wanting to be held, there are always dishes to do, laundry that is piling up, and floors to be swept and vacuumed. My body is always out of sync too, due to night shift, and I really want to work out more, I miss that "me" time, but it is difficult to do that, get sleep, and keep this place in order. On top of that, there have been a lot of changes lately. I am really nervous about starting the new job. Ultimately I am hoping it will make my life easier, being closer to home and all, but in the beginning it is going to make it much harder, because I am going to have to work full-time again, and I am going to have to re-train. Currently I work a 0.75, which means that every other week, I get a week off. I *need* this week off, to catch up on sleep, get the house in order, spend time with my kids. And frankly, I wanted to work a 0.6. Now I will be back to a 0.9 and at the mercy of someone else's scheduling (I picked my own schedule at Swedish), not to mention it will be more stressful, because it is a new job. I don't know how I am going to do it. And on top of that, our lovely Ferndale "tenants" (my sister in law and her husband) are moving out of our home in Ferndale, AND the place needs a new roof, so we have less than a month to figure that all out, and we're going to be in California visiting family for a good portion of that month. Yikes. Of all the things I thought might go wrong with that house, new roof?! Didn't even cross my mind, it is only 16 years old! What the heck...If the housing market was better we'd sell the place, but it's not, and it doesn't seem like the economy is improving anytime soon, so we are stuck. Sooo we have all sorts of worries like, "What if more things start breaking? What if the new tenants lose their jobs and can't pay their rent and we can't unload the house or afford it and it goes into foreclosure and we ruin or credit and our cars die and we need new ones but we can't get approved for a loan or afford it because of the other house?" I know I am being slightly ridiculous, because with me working full-time we can cover both mortgages if we have to, we would just have to cut way back, but if other things start breaking and we need new cars we might be in a bad spot. I know it is probably better and healthier to think of the BEST case scenario, but at the same time you have to be smart, and think of the risks involved, too, unfortunately that is part of being an adult. And I feel like we have it pretty darn good in some ways- we ARE blessed- and what if our luck runs out?
And did I mention Aili is driving me a teeny bit crazy???
I'm just going to have to view these next few months as some of the hardest, and eventually it will be over, we've just got to get through it. I am crossing my fingers that everything turns out ok, and that life will calm down again soon...at least hopefully by the end of the year!